How Understading Me, You, and Us Makes for Better Parenting

I can feel the heat of my heart pounding on my ears.  I notice my daughter holding her breath as I sternly tell her how I “hate irresponsible people.”  As I take my next breath, I stop dead in my tracks and realize, wow, complete mom fail.  I have transformed my moment of teaching and showing my daughter about responsibility into a moment of shaming her.  I stop and tell her I am too upset to speak and think this process through.  Once together again in the car, I attempt to explain how “Mommy got to the point, where she was being hurtful rather than helpful.” The vulnerability of noticing my mistake and pausing to understand what was going on for me allowed me

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Two Key Points in Handling Sibling Rivalry

As a parent of siblings, I am lucky that my daughter is a peacemaker.  Her observant way of being in the world allows her to understand her younger brother, who is a ball of emotion.  However, there are days in our home when our daughter loses her impressive patience, and the two end up in a fight.  As a parenting and child development expert, I generally know how to handle these moments of rivalry, but as a parent I understand how excruciating and off putting they can feel.  

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Disney Pixar’s INSIDE OUT Challenges All Of Us To Feel

Outside of my office door I hear a little voice talking to her daddy saying, “This one is joy, then disgust, yuk! And that one’s anger.”  I know this little one does not like to talk about her feelings, but today she is excited and certain, describing the characters from the new Disney Pixar movie Inside Out.  I am overwhelmed with gratitude hearing her use emotional language and thrilled that director Pete Docter and Disney Pixar have taken on the task of bringing to life the amazing world of feelings and the workings of the mind.

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You’re Wrong! The World IS Safe

I have something radical to say and I wish you could hear me because if you were in front of me I would be screaming it: the world is safe.  The world has always been safe.  Yes, children die, famine exists, natural disasters kill thousands, and we murder one another through war, domestic violence, and hate.  But the world is safe.  For those of you who don’t believe the world is safe, why are you lying to your children?  I know that a deep part of you knows that  the world is safe, but your life experience has fooled you into believing that it is not.

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When Divorce Happens To Young Children

Little ones under five years of age have a way of expressing their emotional worlds that is paradoxically simple and intricate.  When it comes to their experience of divorce and their parents’ separation, they express their internal worlds in ways that all parents separating or divorcing need to keep in mind.

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